Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Found this article and I can't help but to include it in my blog because I know some of us may need to read it. So, for the benefits of them, and maybe even you, here's the article. To be fair to the original author, I've to include the author's name.

By Dating expert April Masini Special to Yahoo! Personals

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this:

Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.

The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

An Eventful Day

Yesterday was an eventful day for me.

It started with a friend, CYM. He had his gallstones removed. This is considered a minor surgery considered today's advanced medical technology. What the doctor did was to cut a few incisions, then insert a tiny camera (For looking around) and a vacuum tube to suck out the stones.

Fairly minor and safe. But CYM died due to complications from this surgery. Somehow, a few hours after his surgery, he complained of heart palpitations and difficulty in breathing. The doctor noticed that his blood pressure was dropping and blood sugar level highly levitated.

Another surgery was performed because the doctor suspected internal bleeding as the cause of his dropping blood pressure. Sure enough, he detected my friend's liver was slowly bleeding. A majority of his veins from his liver were slowly bleeding.

Later, CYM's kidneys started to fail due to lack of blood flowing to the kidney. Then failed totally and the doctor had to order dialysis.

Somehow, to cut the story short, he died within hours later. I'm so sorry for his entire family. Especially his frail mother whom his family members said did not know how to break the sad news to. I just hope his mom would take the news calmly.

Yesterday too saw another friend,LSF, a girl, entered a mental asylum due to double personality. As her old self, she would be pleasant and gentle. Once another personality take over, she would become very aggressive and violent. She would even beat up her boss! Something in the fantasy of some of us. Right?

All's not that bad when I stumbled upon a long lost friend, YYS. At the same hospital where my first friend had his surgery. His wife bore him a baby girl. His second child. Both girls.

And while in the hospital too, I've received another news of yet another friend who delivered a baby boy this time, at another hospital. So yesterday was an eventful day for me.